And in other news

In the morning of the "fitting", I had my occupational health meeting. The doctor decided that I wasn't officially disabled under the Mental Health bla bla Act, and that I am fit to go to work. However, she recommended that I reduce my working hours to four days a week for 4-8 weeks and that I also work one day a week from home, to remove myself from some of the environmental stress that might simply relate to being in the office. I would say that, last week when I took a day off, I did feel better for it. So I didn't object to her proposals.

I spoke to my boss and HR, telling them what would be in the report back from OH. They were fine. I suggested that my 3 day a week person be paid to shift back up to full-time for March and April and that was all signed off (including by the Finance Director) without any trouble.

I'm taking the tablets and I think I'm settling down on the new ones after some very strange side-effects like light-headedness and feeling dizzy (not good if you're going to cycle), poor sleep and other things I can't remember right now. (Probably poor short term mem o r y ). But. I'm still getting anxious and stressy and teary about things that seem relatively minor, even to me. The trigger level seems very low.

I had the first face-to-face counselling session on Monday morning. I nearly didn't get there as I decided to throw myself off my bike on the way. A stupid wibble and wobble while looking over my shoulder on Putney Bridge all because I hadn't used my new method of getting into the right lane for turning at the far side of the bridge. Anyway, I landed in a heap with no other party involved, picked myself and the vehicle up (put the chain back as that always comes off if you have an 'incident') and got on my way. I knew I'd bashed my right knee as (1) it hurt and (2) there was a hole in my leggings. I passed by the ghost bike at Bishopsgate on my way to the appointment. A sobering experience. As the week has progressed and the bruises have started to go through their colours I have found so many of them on my legs I do wonder what I actually managed to do before landing on the ground!

Anyway, the counselling. The first session is a bit of a get to know you thing on both sides. My counsellor is a lady and she's fine. Most of the guff that came out was work-related and she did that wonderful summing up, points to consider for our next meeting thing that they have to do. She spotted my desire to be in control of things and suggested that I think about finding a balance in my life, and look at where I can exercise control and where not. Dont' worry about what you can't change/control? It's been useful and I have another session tomorrow morning. A while back, I picked up a British Heart Foundation booklet, self-help thing, on "Coping with "stress and I've been reading that. It's quite practical and not patronising, so I'm looking to do some of the exercises in that too.