I was going to write this a couple of days ago. A couple of long conversations with friends who were separately having 'trouble' with people who should have been friends to them, drove me to thinking what on earth is it all about?
What is a friend? What makes them different to someone you know? I think perhaps I'm talking about good friends here. The ones who you don't talk to for ages but you know they'll drop everything to help you out if they possibly can. The ones you talk to every day who can sense when you're low or happy or whatever, even through a computer screen. A friend knows you. They're honest with you, even if it's something you don't want to hear. They stay true to their word, they don't use you. A friend's actions and words match; they don't say one thing and do another. There are no lies or omissions. There is generosity: it doesn't have to be of money, it can be simply time, sharing something, a little note or e-mail. There is no point-scoring. Your friend is happy in your successes and cries with you at the bad times. You welcome your friend into your home, what's yours is theirs. You want to help your friends, in fact you get upset if they don't let you but then, you respect them too.
And it's a shame when someone you thought was a friend wasn't really.
I'm lucky, I have some wonderful friends. Some I see or speak to all the time. Some are there even if I don't see them too often. One of my best friends lives thousands of miles away.
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musings from a small furry person
Green Thought for the Day
Just get on your bike.
The brave few!
My PBs
- 1m 7.12 04/06/03 (6 races)
- 5k 24.09 07/09/03 (16)
- 5m 42.27 08/05/05 (11)
- 10k 50.38 25/06/06 (29)
- 10m 1.22.40 20/10/02 (5)
- Half 1.52.17 14/03/04 (47)
- Marathon 3.57.53 18/04/04 (20)
- 52.4 miles 11.29.18
- 173 races completed including a 100 mile stage race & an ultra, plus a triathlon
4 comments:
I have to be honest... I've had periods where I've questioned my loyalty and friendship for people. Over time though, people prove themselves to be who they really are. Over time, you work out the people who are worthy of your time and those who aren't. I'm glad to count you amongst my friends. I don't mean that in the sucky-up-sickly-sweet way. I was thinking about this the other night... we've been through alot together. You came to my first race after I finished my cancer treatment and you have physically and virtually, wiped away my tears on a number of occasions. But we've also laughed, drank, eaten and got drunk together... that is, just plain old been friends together. And for that... I'm very thankful. Thankyou for being you and doing the things you do. It is very much appreciated.
Although, carry on being this deep and meaningful and I'll begin questioning who you really are and what you did with Karen. Capiche..?!
:op
very true Womble and Cath
Over the last eight months it has become painfully obvious to me who are "real " friends and who are not.
It is difficult to stop investing time in those whom you thought cared-
But in the long run it is for the best
I think the hardest thing for me to remember Ruth, is that friendship is about reaching out as well as being there for someone.
I think you're right, when you're in a situation where you invest your time and effort and get very little return, or feel like it's a point scoring match, there's no point anymore and so you have to sit back and take stock. You have to drive yourself into self preservation mode and conserve your energies for looking after number one... because when it comes down to it, you can't be there for anyone else when there is nothing to give anymore.
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