Leon collected most of his things from the house this morning. We both cried. A lot. This is not a place I think either of us ever wanted to be.
Thank you for all the comments, e-mails, calls, texts, visits and msn conversations (don't think there's been any post or carrier pigeons). The depth of your feeling has amazed me. I think I was expecting a few hugs. I hear and understand everything you say. I'm grateful for the time and thought you've spent. However, there's a big BUT. But, I still love him. I don't want to stop loving him. I know it will never be the same. I have to learn to go forward and I'll probably need even more help.
Leon and his family have a special place in my life. We are trying to find a new friendship but it will take time.
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musings from a small furry person
Green Thought for the Day
Just get on your bike.
The brave few!
My PBs
- 1m 7.12 04/06/03 (6 races)
- 5k 24.09 07/09/03 (16)
- 5m 42.27 08/05/05 (11)
- 10k 50.38 25/06/06 (29)
- 10m 1.22.40 20/10/02 (5)
- Half 1.52.17 14/03/04 (47)
- Marathon 3.57.53 18/04/04 (20)
- 52.4 miles 11.29.18
- 173 races completed including a 100 mile stage race & an ultra, plus a triathlon
11 comments:
Ok, I've enabled comments. But please, no obvious I-told-you-sos.
Leon is hurting and as a result so do I. I know that may not make sense, but that is where I am.
Thanks
xx
There are no I told you so's, we all make choices in our life and sometimes they don't work out how we hoped, we just have to adapt, change and learn from them. But you need to be careful that you don't let this become like a festering sore, which just keeps weeping and oozing, someone comes along dabs off the pus and it's ok for a while then it starts again, until it becomes so deep it affects the whole of your very being. Sometimes in life you just have to let things go and move on.
I think you should re-read Peter's comments as he seems to have a good insight into this type of person, the more you hang on the more you will end up blaming yourself, he has moved on and will leave you in his wake as he has others before him, (how many long term friends did he have, not many at a guess) often without the thought you credit him with, never learning. If he was that bothered he would not have slept with another woman whilst living with you, you were being used as accomodation and childcare assistance from the sound of things, you should be angry not sad. Don't let yourself be a victim. So where do his children fit into this, they were probably used to you and now they have to adjust to someone else, or from the sound of it two of you at once, what example does that set them, has he thought about them in all of this? Does he think about anyone but himself?
Sorry if these comments sound harsh but to me it sounds as if he is self-centred, thoughtless and egotistical and you are better off without him in your life, lick your wounds and then make space in your life for people who are genuine, loving and caring.
Blimey Anon - Karen asked for no "told you so's". I think she's hurting enough right now, don't you?
Karen - its okay to feel as you do - you don't have to apologise or explain to anyone.
There can be no I told you so – your feelings do you credit.
When hurt it is easy to lash out, put up the barriers and reject anything to do with the source of pain. It takes more strength and spirit to recognise what was good and hold to that, whilst knowing you have to take a different path.
Keep strong
Hi Karen. You know I'm sorry about what's happened and you know you I am always around for a natter.
However, what I must say is this:-
Karen AND Leon are both my friends. They BOTH always will be. Yes, maybe Leon could have handled things differently and yes, I'm sure he regrets all the heartache. But lets not forget, Leon, like all of us, is a human being and human beings are fallible creatures and always will be.
Seeing friends being virtually hung, drawn and quartered is not a pleasant thing to see, so come on guys, lets play nicely.
What's more, I'm not afraid to put my name on my post.
You are both always welcome at my house.
Rob (Fat Face).
What he said!
"Leon is hurting and as a result so do I."
That's projection. Karen, you are hurting for yourself, and that's OK.
Echo Rob.
anonymous - the most recent - if you are who I think you are, as you've accused me of projection before, why not use your recently-acquired blogger id to post?
I do not deny that I am hurting for myself, not at all, but I can also be upset when the one I love is unhappy. But perhaps you don't understand that.
No comments on behaviour. I think it's sad that both of you are hurting and sad that something that started out so well has turned into this.
Both of you need friends and support. I hope you both are getting the support and understanding you need.
Ali xx
Oh (((((((Womble))))) This is just awful for you.
Keep running, keep smiling (as much as you can), talk things over with your friends and stay positive for your future.
Spanna xx
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